Words that beyond my understanding

I feel... down... Ive done nth all my past life.. Missing my late mom... n Love that Im unsure.. Working like a dog... Living with someone i shouldnt... n Missing my Grandma the most... Left with a month n a last week to enjoy but with who??... I guess all i hav is... My blogspot to share myself.....

Soon Im broke n out of money for my EZ... Jus becox of one stupid day... I was so stupid.. Not thinking of anything... Fuck a lot... Stupidly of me... N now... Im left with 2weeks to work n 3weeks b4 my TP... I dont feel like working anymore... The first week of September... My last 7days to spent time but not sure who will be there for me... n Im off to my stupid NS... Ive done nth in my life... Im like a dog running with a reasons... And Confuse of my Surrounding...

Sry to say but... Family aint my thing becox I only love my late mom... Relatives are like only option but embarrassing n frens are willing for only 5second n love are things that unsure... Its a road that is dark n unsure n no sign nor direction to begin because all i built always get back to ZERO n the biggest step i could only advance is jus ONE... Will there be a route that guide me... Why am i thinkin to much... Why do i feel so weird... Why.. Why... Why is a biggest question to ask urself... Do think by use the word to urself might know everything n key to everything??...

Haiss... Im.. Done.. n.. Good.. Bye...