Fuck up Life.....
Im sooo fucking stress..... Theres soo many things in my mind..... I jus clueless nor knowing where to start with.... I wish Im in NS rite now... I dont really hav a home to call.. The least when Im in NS i could stay in camp... n Be alone as usual.... I really accepted the type of life Im having... Jus a lonely person.. Living n having goals for myself... Should i call myself childish or should i saying... Im too Independent n not try to leave a gap for someone special to enter my life?.... Its not i didnt try... I did.. but things aint goin as u think it suppose to be... Maybe in my mind... All I needed is jus my late mom... but shes aint around anymore.. I should be more open n get to know new ppl... But im jus the type... I rather be alone then making more stupid memories.... Haiss... for now... I jus wish to stay with my grandma... she's my only person i love for now... Theres no one else.. After NS i jus wish to buy a own hse... Live with my two lovely cat.... n No one else.... haiss... Can my life get any worse then this... Im not asking for it but... Im receiving it... Does anyone hav problems like me.. But mine... Its jus too much... Trust me.. Its hard to find sumore who is suffering badly like me.... All of this shit.... is isnt jus a Complicated nor Confuse.... Its Conflict........ I love my Late Mom n Grandma... Forever...
I miss my late Mom.... : (
I really miss her.. Everytime i tink of her.. it makes me soo sad... I will cry for her... She left me when i was in Sec1.... I really miss her.... Its been 6years.... I miss you soo much.... I cry for u... i really do... I miss u.... Why must u really go... When i was small i cry for u.. Wishing i could stay with you... n now... I still cry for you Wishing i could even still see u... I miss u... I wish i could dream bout u every nite jus to see u.... Im very sry for all my sins i commited... But i really miss u... Maybe ill try to find someone like u.. but ur jus... precious to me... ure like no one else... u my only mom i love sooo much... I cant nvr forget u.. I still remember when i had my accident n broke my arms.. n feel like Im dying... You were the only person n firstly i thought of n wish if i die.. i would meet u... Sometimes i feel so stress n fuck up... I jus wanna suicide n be peace n meet u..... All i wan is u... I keep thinking.. if u were still around.. i would be this fuck up.... I need ur support to make myself like how i use to when u were around... i miss u.... n if u still around... i would love my life more... Im even crying rite now... When i wanna think of u.. I would definatly cry.... Cox i love u sooo much.... U are my first piority... : (((.... I miss you my lovely mom... U always been that for me last time.. Proud of me... But now.. Im all alone.. try to be independent... hating getting help from others other then u... I jus need u... but why everything dosent go my way.... Ill pray for u most of the time hoping u really rest in peace.. I love u mama.... "Kekasih syg mama ku....Cume kamu je la saye paggil mama"...... Cry for u... : (((
